Auntie Maleficent...

Has a scary ring to it...doesn't it?

sigh...

i am so misunderstood...

i'm an auntie 4 times by family members - a godmother 4 times by people who aren't contractually obligated to make me a godmother and an honorary auntie at least 5 times... its no wonder why i'm poor

Now I'm not saying if I was a kid I wouldn't want you as an Auntie...me thinks that would have been wicked cool

Hey, an Aunt with porn is always interesting, at the very least.

On all my other boards, you can put images in your replys...like [img]werewr[/img] type thing. Not here though.....

IF I COULD...I would have posted a pic of the Simpson aunts now.

i scare the bejesus out of my sister when i'm left alone with her offspring

which is a nice bonus

The offspring is a good workout band. Man, am I struggling for a response at this time.....

Ok, maybe I will go now and do some more living in the real world, so I can report something of interest back here.

Pfft - the real world is over rated!

I heart guitar hero.

is that anything like jukebox hero?

Yes, but for PS2. Man its fun.

Guitar hero looks cool. What a fun concept for a game.

Yeah, its a blast. Way better than DDR in my opinion.

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

damn shame i wasn't window peeping this morning

At least none of that showering involved dirty dishes!