:S woke up this morning and i was 149 again :S but i did eat too much yesterday, had a bit too much today cause i went out for lunch but going to do extra excercise. Had one slice of bread with a tiny bit of ham at breakfast, and one slice of brown bread with beans for dinner. For lunch I had a tiny bit of pate and a bit of minestrone(Me and my mum shared starters lol) and spaghetti with pesto and olive oil sauce, wouldn't be too bad but theres a lot of oil in it :S not a massive serving though, apart from that i've had a coffee, tea and tiny handfull of jelly tots.

I just weighed myself there because I was bored and i'm 147 again, weird lol, usually i'd be a bit heavier by this time of night. I know i shouldn't weigh myself all the time but every time I stop weighing myself I stop trying.

Was still 147 this morning, I did a bit of excercise last night, not enough though, need to get back into the excercising. I was enjoying running but it's just tooo cold here, and slippy with ice.

Back at college tomorrow, my only problem with college is that everyone in my class gets rolls and bacon or sausage at break adn i'm always tempted, but tomorrow i'm definately not, and i'll probably get soup for lunch, the soups lovely and you get quite a lot but I still don't feel like i've eaten far too much.

Today I had a slice of bread with a slice of beef for breakfast, having a weight wathcers meal for dinner, probably just something small for lunch not sure what yet.

On the special k diet, i'm fed up of failing and its the perfect kick start for me, means i can still eat lunch out and things, cause i tend to do that a lot and it often ruins my diets. I'm doing my davina video much as possible, it's really good but very hard lol.

I was so good yesterday, had lots of water and some special k, and a stir fry for my dinner, no snacking except an apple, this morning I was 146.

Today i've had my special K, can't decide between pasta or sausage rolls for dinner, i love sausage rolls lol.

I've got properly started again, i'm absolutely fed of of not feeling good about myself.

I've got a holiday in june and i've been accepted to uni to do teaching postgrad in september

Just now i'm working nine till 5 five days a week, and 6 till 10.30 4 days a week, the nine till five thing has really helped my bad eating habits and i've even managed to cut out my nighttime snacking which has always been a real problem for me as i have a habit of coming in from work and having something to eat then just snacking all nite, now if i really need something i'm just having a cup of tea, if i eat anything it leads to eating more and ending up having a wee binge.

I've been having yoghurt and coffee for breakfast cause thats all I have time for then another yoghurt or some fruit for lunch, it's weight watchers yoghurts their really good. Then for lunch somethin glike a salad, or a pitta bread or sandwich with a bit of fruit or a biscuit. For dinner on tuesday I had a toastie with a bit of cheese and chicken, yesterday I had spaghetti with tomato sauce and mushroom and onion, tonight i've hardly any time to eat, probably buy a ready made salad.

I was back up to 150 pounds, but just this week i've lost 4 pounds so i'm 146. Feeling better about myself, this job really helps cause i have to get myself up and dressed and try to look my best every day. Plus a holiday is so motivating and it's getting to the stage that I really have to do something.

I've joined the gym, Just now i've onlly got saturdays and monday tuesdays to go and sometimes i'm too tired cause i'm not used to working so much, but i'll get used to it soon and be able to go more, I do get ok excercise in my work though, so as long as i'm eating good I should be ok.

:S i was so good last week and yet by monday morning i was 149 again and this morning 148 :S

I drank over the weekend and had some chocolate and crisps but my calories were pretty low and I worked all day sunday which meant lots of walking around :S and a lot of dancing on saturday nite :P

I would have expected to have lost at least a pound over the course of the week but last monday i was 149 and this monday I was 149, so annoying.

It's not put me off though, i'm still sticking to it, either going to a class in the gym tonite or doing my excercise video, not sure yet, I'm walking from work to my sisters as well, it's not very far but it's something lol.

I really feel like i'm getting somewhere this time just wish the scales would show it :S my work trousers feel the tiniest bit looser, I know i wouldn't have lost enough weight to make a difference but I must be less bloated which is good. I really hate having this weight on me, at 140 pounds i feel not too bad, but this weight is just horrible, i'm too short and i look terrible.

Had a bit of an overeat last nite. Mum had made spaghetti bolognese for dinner, which i love, so I ate too much of that with garlic bread, then she had bough cakes for pudding wee french fancies and i ate two, then later i had another french fancy and an aero :S then a tiny tiny bit of rubharb crumble, but only like 3 spoonfuls.

When I woke up this morning though I was 147 pounds so hopefully i didn't ruin it too badly. I've had toast this morning and i've got sandwiches with turkey and salad and a bit of coleslaw for lunch (coleslaw on sandwiches is my new addiction lol, I used to think it looked disgusting till i tried it :P) For dinner i'm having chicken and salad (if my mum buys it, she's not good at buying real food! and if she does she has to have chips or heavy sauce)

I'm so motivated now i'm going to do an excercise video tonight, I feel so good about this, I think its cause I know i'll have to wear a bikini on holiday and I want to feel attractive and enjoy nights out again!!

Managed about ten minutes of my video last nite lol, but i'd been working all day from half 8 till ten with about an hour in between my two jobs so I think it's forgivable lol. I thin i'll just do the arm and tummy bit of my davina vid tonight my arms aren't looking their best and neither is my tummy lol. I feel thinner although I've not lost much weight, my collar bones are coming out again :P and all around my shoulder area feels firmer and theres the tiniest hint of cheekbones my face looks less round.

I'm so proud of myself i've completely managed to avoid snacking not had time to do much excercise but i'm going for a run tonight and i've book myself into a legs, bums and tums class for tomorrow, i'll be dying lol. I've only got a week left of my daytime job as well, so i've got a whole weeks worht of classes to go to after that, will be looking great by the end of it :P :P

I'm 147 pounds this morning, just going to start recording my weight on a monday, because i seem to lose water weight through the week and be up a bit again by the monday, so thats me lost 2 pounds since last week, I was 149 on monday last week, thats pretty good really, I feel like I should be losing faster because i've been pretty good for 3 weeks and thats only 3 pounds down, from 150, but I know that i'm looking better even if the scales not showing it, not sure why though It's not muscle gain as i've not been doing much excercise, weird lol.

Yesterday wasn't my best day eating wise :S When I woke up in the morning my mum had made me two buttered scones and gave me a yoghurt and I ate it all :S they were only wee scones but still too much. Then I had some fruit in light syrup for my tea break, A sandwich with turkey and coleslaw for lunch and some roast chicken and salad iwth pesto dressing for dinner. I ended up haivng anohter wee bowl of pesto salad and two lily o'briens chocolates. I fell asleep at seven and slept till ten and when I woke up I had two slices of toast and philidelphia (light) :S it wasnt and awful day but definately not good.

Today I've had a cup of coffee with a little bit of milk and a tiny bit of cream, with a 50 cals yoghurt, half of one slice of toast with light philidelphia. For lunch i'm having a wholewheat wrap with barbeque chicken and coleslaw and salad, and a wee pack of melon and grapes. Dinner will be tuna pasta, I dont have a lot of mayo so it's pretty healthy and i have it with sweetcorn and onions

I'm going to try and make myself go for a run with my bf after he finishes work at nine but dnt know if i'll manage it, maybe i'll just go for a run myself around my bit after work thatmight be ok.

Only a few more days then I finish this wee job and can have at least a week of excercise

:s Yesterday ended up being a really bad day eating wise first of all my wrap ended up being mouldy when i opened it at lunch :S they were brand new as well i was so annoyed, so I had a toasted bagel wiht philidelphia that a girl gave me, And some melons adn grapes. When I went home I made tuna pasta with onions and sweetcorn for me and my neice but i overjudged what she would eat and ended up having far too much myself :S After that I had a sugar free jelly but then I was really tempted and had another jelly that wasn't sugar free :S then about 6 wee toffees. Later my mum had made chicken noodle soup and i ended up having a bowl of that :S I avoided bread though.

The only good thing about yesterday was I managed about 20 mins excercise but that still wasn't enough :S

I'm back doing better today, I had coco pops and coffee for breakfast, and sandwiches with turkey and coleslaw for lunch with a chomp and a plum but the plum was yucky so I didn't eat it.

I only get about half an hour for dinner so I wont have time to binge and i'm going to make myself excercise tonight because I really need to no matter how tired I am.

I read that a good way to curb binges is to put an elastic band round your wrist and ping it when u get the urge, lol, so i'm giving it a wee try, doubt it'll work though, lol.

I'm doing a challenge in this site to lose 5 pounds in a month, right now i'm 147 and I started at 150 so thats 3, 2 more this week and i've done it so thats another reason to excercise tonight

I wasnt terrible or very good last nite i made pasta with my own tomato,olive oil, chilli and garlic sauce but i ended up having two bowls, i've decided a fistfull is all i make and if thast not enough then i'll have salad, casue i like to have pasta it fills me up but i dnt want to overeat. I also had a biscuit :S and a weightwatchers strawberry cheesecake.

I didn't excercisei was too tired, I weighed after id eaten and drank a coffee today and was 147 so hopefully that means I was actually 146.

I'm going out tomorrow night but goign to stick to vodka and diet coke, i do alright if thats what i have, it doesn't seem to ruin my diet, the way wine does, I've noticed since I started drinking wine, I've gained weight and more likely to have chips or something after the club so I'm not drinking it for a while.

A girl asked me today if Id lost weight!!!! I'm so happy when it gets noticed.