Hi Uncover Beauty!
I'm so sorry to hear about your foot!

I know it's hard to keep your calories low when you're taking anti biotics and painkillers...they make you so hungry. Don't give up, remember that if you do a little sacrifice now you'll be happier when you finally reach your goal. Anyway, don't be too hard on yourself, eat some chocolate to keep you happy sometimes

VGirl -- That's so true, ever since I started taking antibiotics, I feel like I've gone into hibernation, stuffing myself with food =(


First off, I need to get this off my chest before anything else.

I am a female. Not to be confused with bimbo, whore, bitch, piece of ass, "my woman", or any other god aweful name some of the male population attach to us, FEMALES.

I am a female. Not to be confused with walking breasts, nice ass, tight ass, or "hey! check our her rack!". You call me by my name. My name is Holly. I do not have "twins", I have breasts, and I beg of you to stop staring at them.

My issue? Men are pigs. Plain and simple, but we know that. Not all of them are, but they must hide under rocks. The next time I get compared to the skinny girl next to me, I'm going to knock her off her chair.

Now, let me tell you something, I was never the girl that guys looked at. Ever. In elementary school, I was the fat kid. In middle school, I was the fat girl. In high school, I was the girl with big boobs who was friends with everyone. You'd think that'd be a step up, but I rather be called fat. All of a sudden in the 9th grade I had guys all over "liking me"...*ahem*..."liking me" wasn't exactly "hey, how are you, would you like to go out?" it was "heeeeeeeeey, so, got a condom we could use?". You'd think that would be flattering, because really, I was the fat girl, who wants to sleep with the fat girl?

I'm not a tramp, I don't sleep around, I've had things happen that weren't exactly within my will of wanting. So I'm not all "Wheee, lets get it on!" but I'd like to find a guy who can hang out, talk, be my friend, boyfriend second, and can get along with and create a foundation.

Somewhere along the lines, guys missed my mind, my personality, who I am on the inside. Instead, they saw what was on the inside and had their own ideas of how to "Get to know" me on the inside. That doesn't fly with me.

I've dated my fair share, which isn't a whole lot, because I picked not too and I can't do this "Dating around" thing. The idea doesn't fancey me. At all. But my point is.....

I'm a female. I have a mind. I deserve respect and they deserve it back. A relationship is a partnership and a friendship, not a sexual game for kicks. (unless you're into that).

*sighs* Someday, I'm determined to find him, the one guy who cares. I see so many "Fat" girls with these good looking skinny guys, and it restores my hope that there are good guys out there. I don't care what he looks like, as long as he treats me right. And realizes that a female is one of the highest forms of compliment you can ever call a woman.


Anyways, my eating hasn't been to good. I'm trying to put it back on track. I've tweaked my gym workout to include more treadmill, instead of ellipitcal because my wound can't handle that just yet. I'm hoping to get down to a reasonable weight by July, because my parents are throwing my graduation party and it'd be nice to look good and feel good and "Wow" everyone I had gone to high school with =D

Oh, and I was looking around on OnDemand and I found that belly dancing....gosh, it looks like so much fun! I hope by the time I can do it, they'll still have it around =D

Wow, back at the gym already!

Well, no, not yet. Ijust tweaked it for when I go back to the gym I'll know exactaly what I wanna do =D I was thinking around March 19th for going back. By then I should be able to drive and be pretty well off for walking and exercising!!!

Belly dancing OnDemand is super fun.

Whoa! I need to reply to this but I'm out of time..later

I'm sorry about that jerk who was trying to use you--fuck him.

About the breasts: breasts are fat and tissue. Breast tissue is more dense and feels kind of lumpy. My own are large C cups (they turn into small Ds during my period, but I'm a 36"). When I lost the first few pounds, it seemed like my tits were the first thing to go. THEN that stopped. I'm still a C cup/D cup once a week. During my annual, the doctor gave me a breast exam. I asked her about it--if your breasts are full of dense tissue, then they will not shrink too much. Only the fat will ge gone, not the tissue. Since you have had D cups as long as you can remember, it is most likely that you have big breasts, not fat ones. So don't let breast loss dissuade fat loss. Keep at it! I'll be back I have more to comment on...

I'm sorry--that is a lot to go through. And you WILL find him--you're (ok I'm sorry here, don't mean to patronize you) so young--you have your whole life ahead of you. And if you really want this weight loss, then you will have it! Put all your energy into it, and share your feeligns here. We're all here to support each other. YOU CAN DO IT!

Wanna hear something f-ed up? I think my boyfriend is the most wonderful person, and I love him with all my heart. No man has ever adapted so well to me and given me so much affection--that I desparately need.

BUT...

I aksed him if he'd still be with me if I got really fat, and he said that he wouldn't if it was to the point that he was unattracted to me.

I asked him why and he said it was because I wouldn't be healthy and taking care of myself. I was kind of steamed, so I dropped the subject. This did not change my high opinion of my boyfriend, but it made me see him in a different light--he's 6' and 151 lbs. He has been 150 lbs since puberty. He knows nothing about struggling with your weight.

Anyway, Life is hard on Big People. I wish I could change that, but I can't--I can only treat everybody how they deserve to be treated regardless of weight. I only wish people would do the same.

I recently lost 14lbs. I started wearing cute clothes once and a while, and it's warm here (65 degrees) so I wore shorts this one day in the mall. This woman (who was not overweight, but in her 40s) walked passed me, looked back, sneered and tsked tsked. I guess she didn't like my shorts. Also, women have been mad-dogging me, and men have been fawning over me. I really dislike this kind of attention--to be trated only in accordance with how people think you look on the outside. I like being thought of as attractive, but in these kinds of situations, I just want to crawl under a rock. It makes me kind of like, "WTF?"

Anyway, keep at it!

I sure hope you're right..cause from 9/3/2006 to 3/7/2007 I've lost 5.75inches off my chest...I'm hoping it stops!

I know I'm young and have a lot of time, that doesn't bother me much, but I'm the type of person where I look for the one guy I know it'll last a while with. That maybe my downfall, since I'm not like most of my friends who have a new guy every week.

This weightloss, I'm waiting for it all to come off and I can "WOW" those who gave me this "you're to fat" crap

Thank you so much for replying =D It's nice hearing things from other people about a subject!!

Guys, somehow they can fall in love with your personality, but if you get fat, they seem to not understand that you still have the same personality.

I know how you feel..and that woman shouldn't have had an issue, if you feel great about yourself, then you dress how you feel. I used to hide under hoodies, but then I'm like "You know, I'm fat, I know I am, they know I am, I'll dress in nice clothes, things that suit me" and I got a lot of BS about it, cause heaven only knows once you wear a V neck shirt you're trying to "Draw attention" *shakes head* But good for you, for wearing those clothes to show off the 14lbs and to feel great!! Don't let anyone tell ya other wise.

Inches from your chest isn't the concern--it's cup size that matters!

Good for you! Gloat away! You'll make it!

Yes, clothes are tricky, aren't they? It's like being naked is sometimes less provacotive than actual clothes that are revealing. Weird.

I wish other women just weren't so catty sometimes. I like looking at people who look good and have confidence. At a club not too long ago I saw a girl, slightly chubby, who looked really good and curvy in a really revealing top. The top was interesting and kind of tied around her. I came up to her and said, "That's a really cute shirt, you look good in it!' and she seemed really flattered and pleased. I bet a lot of other girls were like, "Ew, why is she wering that?"

I feel confident and happy with my body--I know I didn't have a whole lot to lose but dammit! It took a lot of pain and suffering (not to mention I feel better than I have in a long time, got to point that out) to lose those 14 pounds. The only problem is I didn't know that people would start treating me different. I hate to say it, but my own boyfriend has been sweeter to me, less obnoxious, and touches my stomach and back more than he did when I was heavier. So it's disconcerting. He loves my personality, too--his ex was 6', gorgeous as a f-ing model, and skinny-skinny. But she was so crazy that he dumped her after 10 weeks. And didn't look back. I respect him for that. It's just weird--trust me, when your body gets closer to that "ideal, hot" version people have stuck in their heads, you're going to face a lot of weird stuff.

But fuck that--keep it up. It's for YOUR pleasure and happiness

You're doing great Uncover Beauty. You're a desireable young woman with the courage and elan to bellydance. Go for it!