Ok, I am really terrified of my weigh in. I know its irrational, I have been eating well this week, but I am so scared that numbers wont be as high as I would like and I will be disappointed. I have such high hopes for losing quickly. And if a certain amount doesnt come off before I go to Scotland, I am going to still be pretty self-conscious. I know, I know, I should be happy that I have lost and will lose a certain amount before Scotland and learn to love my body......but i dont, i hate my body. I want to be attractive, I want to be wanted. I want so many things that will come with losing a certain amount of weight, and I want them soon! lol. I need to stop freaking out. I am really starting to scare myself with all these fears that I wont be able to experience Europe how I want to. I have 6 months exactly until I leave. I was wanting to weigh between 150-170lbs by then and then try to lose the last 20lbs while im over there. Can anyone tell me honestly whether they think this is a rational goal or if not, what is?

Ugh, I am just so frustrated, and I have no reason to be...at least not yet lol. My weighin isnt until tomorrow, but I weighed myself this morning and it looks like I have only lost 2lbs since last week.

Today I had my normal Zone bar for breakfast, a salad with low fat honey mustard dressing and some bean soup (it was in the cafeteria so I dont know how many calories were in it. It wasnt a cream base or anything, but there could still be so many hidden calories in there.) For a snack I had an apple and a hundred calorie pack of graham crackers. I am going to go walk again tonight, hopefully at least 12 laps and try to put a little running in there.

Dinner: Big bowl of bean soup, 10 saltines, and green beans.
Snack: half of a low fat yogurt and a granola bar.
I also just walked for 3 miles

I also have a question, how do you get the name of your diary when you first go to the Weight Loss Diary section to be in bold. I notice most of them are, but I cant figure out how to make mine like that. Also is there a way to edit the Title of my diary?

Well, as I thought, I lost 2lbs for this week. I am learning to accept this. I just hope that I can have some weeks where I lose more than this.

Breakfast: Zone Bar
Lunch: black beans and salad with salad vinegar, sunflower seeds, and green olives.
Dinner: whole wheat pasta with garlic and mushrooms with a tiny parmesan cheese on top and a bowl of bean and rice soup.
Snacks: an apple and a Kashi cookie.

I weighed myself this morning and somehow, according to my scale, I lost 3lbs since yesterday morning. I am not complaining lol, but I am just so confused. I was wearing the same amount of clothes and it was first thing in the morning both times so I dont know what is going on. Maybe its my scale, but my roomate uses it as well and it seems pretty accurate. Oh well

I am trying to decide if its best for me to weigh myself everyday or wait and do it once a week. When I do it everyday its hard to see the real weight loss, but it inspire me to eat better if i see i gained like half a pound from the day before. I just want it to come off so fast. I know there is only so much that I can do healthily, but time just goes so slowly. Maybe I will look for a new hobby so I can keep myself extra extra busy lol.

Well so far today I had:
Breakfast: Zone bar
Lunch: ranch style beans, green beans, and some carrots
Snack: apple and some mini rice crisps
estimated calories so far: 700 calories

your weight will fluctuate a bunch during the week - it just happens like thaat sometimes... don't get too hung up on the daily number...

Dinner: Black beans, rice, lettuce and salsa-kind of a burrito without the tortilla, also a salad with red wine vinegar as dressing, and canteloupe.

I went to the track and did 16 laps. For 14 of them I ran one of the straights, so thats more than 3/4 of a mile running. I am trying to work myself up to being able to run longer. Right now I can run half a lap, but by the end of next week I want to be able to run a whole lap.

Breakfast: Zone bar- 210 calories
Lunch: salad with vinegar dressing- 200 calories
whole grain tortilla- 140 calories
Snack: Kashi cookie- 130 calories
Dinner: beans- 150 calories
raw vegetables with light ranch dressing- 200 calories
Total: 1030 calories
I will try to eat another 300 calories tonight- probably from fruit.

Breakfast: none-still sleeping
Lunch: spinach and cheese ravioli- approx. 400calories
Snack- apple, some rice crisps and a kashi cookie- 300 calories
Dinner: ranch style beans, brocolli and cauliflower, granola with fat free yogurt- 500 calories
Total: 1200 calories
Today I have felt really lethargic. I have this war going on in my head about whether I am going to go walk/run tonight. I didnt go last night.

Breakfast: none- sleeping
Lunch: cooked broccoli, canteloupe, strawberries, and 2 little cubes of cheese with 3 whole grain crackers. I am lost on how many calories the cheese has, so I am going to try to overestimate and say my total for lunch was 400 calories.

I went and had an early dinner at Panera Bread and I learned that my addiction to sweets is definitely gone. I also dont like eating really heavy things anymore, they just make me feel tired and like everything on me is heavier. My arms actually feel heavier, they are harder to raise lol. So at Panera bread I had black bean soup, portabella and mozerella sandwich and a chocolate chip cookie. (guessing around 1000 calories)

i love panera bread!!

OOOOHH and I got a tennis racket. I am pretty excited about this as I would love to find something active for me to do that is fun. I used to play tennis when I was like 11, so it could be pretty sad when I step out on the court today, but I think it will still be fun.

I went to play tennis and did that for about 40 minutes, then I went to the track and I DID A WHOLE LAP I wasnt expecting this to happen until the end of the week, that was what I had set my goal for. I might start keeping track of how many miles I do and say that once I reach like 200 miles I will reward myself with something. I will start with today: 1 1/2 miles
Snacks: apple and some blackberries