This is probably one of the most ridiculous and pathetic posts you've ever read, but I really hope that people here will be kind. I used to be a fashion model (semi-pro) and avid runner when I was younger. I was in great shape. I'm 43 and in the last few years, I've had some incredible stress in my life. My weight has literally doubled. I'm 5'11" and not exactly sure how much I weigh, but it must be close to 270, just unbelievable. I generally weigh 135 pounds. We won't even talk about what size of clothes I wear. Needless to say, I haven't been running in a few years and am in terrible shape.

I've finally decided to take control of my life. I had a full physical, and I'm basically healthy, no high blood pressure, no diabetes, no high cholesterol, or anything like that, but the extra weight is starting to affect my back and knees. I can't stand long enough to even walk on a treadmill for 30 minutes, it's that bad. But, there is one exercise that the doctor strongly encourages, swimming.

I just ordered a bathing suit in the elephant size range and will go to my local gym and just start swimming laps. However, my body is so huge and ugly but inside I feel scared like a small child because I don't want to have to undress in a room where others can see my naked body. There is only one gym in town with a pool, and there are no private locker rooms areas. I suppose the only thing I can do is after showering, wrap a towel around my body and take my clothes into the toilet stall where there is a partition.

I don't even know what my real question is here. But I just wonder if anyone has ever been afraid to go somewhere to exercise because of the locker room" situation or because of how you'll look in a bathing suit. I used to model the stupid things not that long ago. I've already scoped out the times when there will be the fewest swimming or aerobics classes, but I doubt I'll ever have the entire locker room to myself. I guess I just need some encouragement. Before I gained weight, I'd occasionally see a large woman in the locker room and would see others secretly snickering. It upset me then, and now that I'm the fat lady, I'm just petrified, which seems pathetic at my age.

Most people dont really care what your weight is, but I know how you feel. If you actually GO to one of those areobics classes, you'll get to know the people there so you wont feel so embarrassed about your weight infront of them. Many people there are to loose weight themselves. Also, you've got to understand that hardly anyone actually notices your weight if you walk into a pool with a lot of confidence and a smile on your face.

So go and do it!!

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dinosour '06

I joined a gym 10/13/06, and for the first week I would always change in a toilet stall. It very quickly became a pain in the ass and now I do the put-on-gym-clothes-under-current-outfit routine in the locker area

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You may want to join Curves, its what I do and its great. It perfect for all sizes and all types of physical health (well most types, saying ALL is a lie, lol). You don't even have to worry about the locker situation or bathing suit.

But if you don't want to join Curves, its all about sucking it up and not worrying about what other people think. I know its hard to do, but it can be done.

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"If you can hold on, hold on"

I don't know about other women in the gym but I don't gawk. I try to give people their privacy. And you know I've NEVER looked at anyone even unitentionally and thought "OMG!!!" We are ALL in this together.

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You aren't alone. I have to change in locker rooms for volleyball, and I usually go into a stall whenever I can, just because i'm so self concious. Don't worry, if you want your privacy, go ahead and change in the bathroom stall. but always remember to wear sandles!

Great job on choosing to get you life back on track! We're all here to support you!

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