LaMa

I was mighty hungry today. Like... I WANT TO EAT A MASTODON hungry. So I ate a bit more. Probably around maintenance given I worked out. Had dinner with D and spent over two hours looking for something that could serve as a base for a costume but no luck. Green isn´t fashionable right now unless it´s for coats or heavy sweaters, neither of which I can use for work without getting heat stroke. May use a top I already have or I may just decorate my hair. With tiny bees.
 
My shoulders are properly sore this morning! Will have a look at the weather to decide whether I'll go for a walk or play elliptical bunny at the gym instead. I get to decide for myself because S is going for a walk with a new friend she met online. I'm glad she's making new friends because at times in the past she could get a bit lonely and intense but I'm kind of hurt at the same time because Sunday morning has been our walkie time for at least three years and I feel like I'm being pushed to second place. Which is silly and childish of me as we deviated plenty of times, we hadn't planned anything specific for today and since H has started daycare and S is starting a German course to help her job hunt time is simply going to be a rarer resource. Come to think of it: I may actually be jealous of her succeeding at finding new friends, which is an intersting thought because for the past year or so I very rarely had the energy to keep up with the friends I already have. Interesting. Maybe things really ARE changing for the better.
I'm telling you all this, even though it embarrasses me, because therapy is over and I promised to keep an eye on my feelings, even and especially the negative ones, so they won't sneak up on me anymore in the future. Cause that way unhappy calories lie. (Visualising them as a sticky pink-and-purple swamp ready to suck in and swallow weary travellers.)
 

Hale

Active Member
I vote for a walk. Mostly because I've not had a reasonable opportunity to spend time outdoors for a couple weeks with all the cold in this part of the world. Elliptical seems so mundane in comparison. An explore seems so much more adventurous.

Sometimes jealousy is a good clue as to what you might be missing in your life .
 
I agree on both counts. So I went for a walk in the freezing cold but sunny outside world (or two, actually) and rang a friend to have lunch with me. I´ll make more of an effort to reach out to the amazing people I already know around here and if that shouldn´t be enough I can start seeing about finding some more :)
Also spent two hours playing Astroneer with my sister. Sisters are bloody awesome.
 

Stan

Well-Known Member
rang a friend to have lunch with me. I´ll make more of an effort to reach out to the amazing people I already know around here and if that shouldn´t be enough I can start seeing about finding some more
The world is full of people to meet - some of them are nice too lol, like the people here :)

I should probably point out that I'm not usually available for lunch in Vienna though :p
 
The world is full of people to meet - some of them are nice too lol, like the people here :)
I´m convinced most people are nice, as long as no money is involved. The trick is to find the nice people whose weirdness matches yours.
It's strange the feelings we have at times.
Yup. And getting mad at myself for having them isn´t helpful. Nor is pretending they aren´t there. My therapist would be so proud :p
Didn´t eat the mostly healthy stuff yesterday. Quinoa with spinach, feta and avocado for lunch was good but sooo muuuch added fat. Need to make that at home in a more decent way. Bread salad for dinner was... mostly bread, mayo and pickles. (Breakfast didn´t happen because laziness.) Calories were reasonable though. Probably.
Just now I had veggies, beans and pita bread for breakfast, which is a much better start to my day.
 

cate

Never gives up
Maybe things really ARE changing for the better.
I'm telling you all this, even though it embarrasses me, because therapy is over and I promised to keep an eye on my feelings, even and especially the negative ones, so they won't sneak up on me anymore in the future.
Good for you, LaMa xoxo
 
I got horrible cravy/hungry by 10:30 am and crashed face-first into a large bag of chips around 4 pm, followed by icecream. I'm glad I didn't eat as much as I used to (didn't feel sick afterwards!) but it's obviously not the right thing to do for my body. I think my preposterous diet coke consumption over the weekend was the main culprit as I was feeling fine in general. Soda, diet or otherwise, leaves me dehydrated and feeling like I should be eating enormous amounts. So let's cut back on that again. I was actually doing well on the soda front but then there was a special offer and I bought 4 large bottles thinking I'd have soda for weeks. Yeah, should have been skeptical of so much optimism... Three days later there's only one bottle left and I was genuinely tempted to make a start on it yesterday afternoon :eek:
 

Hale

Active Member
Good news that you reeled it in before going completely off the rails.

Supposing the diet Coke triggered the chips cravings, having ready access to it may perhaps be considered a failed experiment. Assuming you care to hear my opinion, my best solution to that kind of situation is to minimize exposure to risk and not over think it. Maybe you have the tools or ability to think your way through to understanding triggers but I work better on trial and error. When a trial fails, I don't repeat until I'm ready to accept another failure.
 
You´re right, of course, but my brain isn´t willing to give up on diet coke yet. I´m not going to have larger amounts in the house anymore though, and I´ll be limiting my consumption to two 1.5 liter bottles per week (one for work and one for the weekend). That´s still more than anyone really needs but not enough to cause cravings. Only had about two sips today though. If I cut out the soda completely I tend to start overdoing the sweets again. It´s a bit of a tightrope act.
 
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You´re right, of course, but my brain isn´t willing to give up on diet coke yet. I´m not going to have larger amounts in the house anymore though, and I´ll be limiting my consumption to two 1.5 liter bottles per week (one for work and one for the weekend). That´s still more than anyone really needs but not enough to cause cravings. Only had about two sips today though. If I cut out the soda completely I tend to start overdoing the sweets again. It´s a bit of a tightrope act.
Im the last one to give advice about diet cokes so ill just stay with drink lots of water....they arent exactly low in salt
 
My shoulders are properly sore this morning! Will have a look at the weather to decide whether I'll go for a walk or play elliptical bunny at the gym instead. I get to decide for myself because S is going for a walk with a new friend she met online. I'm glad she's making new friends because at times in the past she could get a bit lonely and intense but I'm kind of hurt at the same time because Sunday morning has been our walkie time for at least three years and I feel like I'm being pushed to second place. Which is silly and childish of me as we deviated plenty of times, we hadn't planned anything specific for today and since H has started daycare and S is starting a German course to help her job hunt time is simply going to be a rarer resource. Come to think of it: I may actually be jealous of her succeeding at finding new friends, which is an intersting thought because for the past year or so I very rarely had the energy to keep up with the friends I already have. Interesting. Maybe things really ARE changing for the better.
I really like this post. Not that you are feeling hurt of course, but I think stuff like this happens with friendships all the time, and it's always really interesting and a real learning curve. What I gather is that sometimes you resent even keeping up the connection with S, but when suddenly she decides to do her own thing, you don't like that either. And that's totally normal when you are wasting your energy on negative things - the positive connections get pushed aside.

You can totally make new friends LaMa, maybe you should set yourself a challenge to join a meetup group once per week, even if you don't feel like, sort of like a therapy replacement, and see how you get on. You could do it for 8 weeks or so and if at the end of that timeframe, you still hate it, then forget about it and do something else.

I completely understand about not having the energy for people but since I've started ignoring that side of myself and putting myself out there more, it's really been an overall positive experience.
 
You can totally make new friends LaMa, maybe you should set yourself a challenge to join a meetup group once per week, even if you don't feel like, sort of like a therapy replacement, and see how you get on.
Hm... I absolutely hate the idea but it might be a good one anyway. I know I can make new friends, it´s just very energy consuming at first. As I said I think I´ll try getting to see my actual friends more often first to see if I can sustain regular friend dates or if I´ll just end up holed up in my apartment again because it´s too much. I was awfully flaky when I wasn´t feeling well and that went on for longer than I care to consider. No use in trying to find new friends while I´m still struggling to allot time for old ones. For now I reached out to another friend I haven´t seen in a while which makes me feel like I´m showing initiative.

PS: I thought I´d be all active and have a look at meetup groups around here and I get anxious just looking at them online. They all look so extroverted! The first description even started with "we love Vienna and we love meeting new people". No! I like Vienna well enough but I loathe meeting new people! I find few things more agonizing than posing for "spontaneous", "quirky" :puke:group pictures. Getting dental work done is more enjoyable. I don´t particularly like interacting with people in groups larger than 4 even when I know and like them very well. Also: I feel ancient looking at those pictures. Which either means the people going to these events are generally 10-15 years younger than me or whoever curates the site likes to make it seem that way. Neither option bodes well for me. May look into classes/lectures/guided walks instead.
 

Jenniquest

Well-Known Member
Taking a class is a great way to meet new people who may also share your interests. I guess I am lucky in that I go to AA, lol, where there is a ready made group of people I have something in common with. Sounds glum, but you'd be surprised how fun a bunch of former alcoholics can be! :smilielol5:
 
:p Reminds me of a guy I met who tried to convince me to start going to meetings for relatives and partners of AA members - at what I'm pretty sure was the third date :D
For now I'm so surprised at having the energy to DO things again and plan things with people without flaking all the time I'm just enjoying the feeling. I'm sure I'll find new activities once I start to feel bored.
 

Hale

Active Member
Meetings. I attended a couple to support a family member. I couldn't believe the reinforcement of negative thought patterns. I am XXXX and I am YYYY and I am powerless. I attended a few ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) meetings with a girl I was seeing at one time. The whole abdication of responsibility and ownership when there was clear enabling going on in many stories just grated on my sensibilities. It rankles. Either you get to blame some higher power for everything that's wrong in your life or you have accept you're a piece of shit and the only good you can aspire to is outside of yourself. Thank goodness there are groups out side of AA and the affiliated kinds of recovery groups that help people get past the inculcation of negative messages and allow people to regain some power over their lives and not just externalise it. I wouldn't claim that AA and 12 step programs don't have a place for certain people at some stage in their recovery, but the presence of groups to help people recover from those programs suggests that, what sound to me like incessant negative mantras can't be entirely helpful.

Sounds like you are in a good place LaMa.
 
:p Reminds me of a guy I met who tried to convince me to start going to meetings for relatives and partners of AA members - at what I'm pretty sure was the third date :D
For now I'm so surprised at having the energy to DO things again and plan things with people without flaking all the time I'm just enjoying the feeling. I'm sure I'll find new activities once I start to feel bored.
Interesting lol
 
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